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Anne and I: A Month On

And so a month has gone by. A month that began with arms full of hope and ended with the horror of the man I love hurting himself in the dead of night. (I need you to read between the lines here. To read it but not speak of it, nor question its specifics.) “Anne, I don't want to live. . . . Now listen, life is lovely, but I Can't Live It. I can't even explain. I know how sill[...]

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The Curse of the Perfectionist

Hmm. Two conversations. Both with men. Not necessarily rational themselves but at least willing to offer opinion where it has almost certainly not been invited. The first with Ste. One coffee in to our morning ritual of two cups of tea and two cups of coffee over the couple of hours we spend together before the day starts on a feast of caffeine and discussion about the state of the nat[...]

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Housekeeper’s Diary

More and more now, there is clarity in my head. New ideas I would never have considered before. A realisation that there is very little set in stone and that we can be who we so very much need to be if only we would dig ourselves out of the kind of rut we have lined so cosily in satin eiderdowns and nostalgia for who we once were. I am clearing space. Utterly focused on saying damn you[...]

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The Silent Man and Me

There is a sort of taboo about discussing our relationships on the internet: as if telling the truth about how we feel about those we share our intimate lives with would be the worst kind of dis-loyalty. And for those who write about home, it seems doubly destructive, as if discussing what really happens within our own four walls would break the spell we are so careful to cast. Bu[...]

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Uncomfortable Spaces

One of the things I have become most aware of recently is how very willing I have been to exist in uncomfortable spaces, merely in order to maintain the status quo. To not upset the apple cart, nor to seem more erratic, or eccentric than those who know me already understand me to be. This is I think about a denial of intuition. And more, too much pride in my ability to be resilient. Re[...]