Oh the ordeals we put our children through. Witness my Darlings, the worst day of my little boys life. An encounter with local Bobby Ewan, (He is coming to put me in jail Mommy, cos I’m complicated and can’t stop being naughty). The humiliation of being drowned in a policemans outfit and worst of all having said pictures paraded to the world (and its poodle) on the nursery website.

Bless his rosy cheeks.