Wifee

Wondering what it is? Read on.

You see Housekeepers, I have committed a crime against the man I haven’t got around to marrying yet and he is not a happy sausage.

He is perfectly happy for me to spend all his money,  conduct a torrent affair with the seventy five year old milkman , and be rude to his mother, but oh God forbid I should wash the tin opener too often.

Yes, you read that right.  I WASH THE TIN OPENER TOO OFTEN. Apparently my obsession with housekeeping has gone to far and if things carry on the way they are and he finds the tin opener in the dishwasher one more time, well who knows what he will do…

I am in fear of my life and that of my precious flowery plates.

Isn’t it a scandal? I mean you knew I was bad (I serve stinky food remember?), but I bet you never realised I went this far on a daily basis. So let’s puzzle this one out. Is this tin opener made of gold? No. Did it cost a fortune. No. (I bought it in the pound shop seven years ago). Is its going rusty through my compulsive urge to wash it? No. (It is in relatively good nick, considering it is ancient). So what then?

Readers, let me enlighten you: Mark is a tired man. He has a stressful job (Did I mention he was running the country?) and HE JUST HASN’T GOT TIME TO GO ROOTING IN THE DISHWASHER FOR SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DRAWER!!

So now you know: A man can live with a woman with body odour or bad breath, but God forbid she should wash the tin opener too often.