You have a sick little boy on your hands again today. His mouth a mess of swollen gums and ulcers, but his spirit as always, still high. He cannot eat so you fashion teeny little men out of cheese on toast and give them cheery little ketchup faces and he nibbles their heads off slowly, breakfast looking set to wander way into lunchtime.
There is much to be done, but your will to achieve has taken a package holiday to the land of Never Never. Routine and ritual are the mainstays of your life, but willing is always the driving force and when it is gone, you flounder in no-woman’s land contemplating volunteering for a faraway Kibbutz or selling up and travelling the world in a pale pink camper van.
But there is no escape from obligation in December. Though the list has lingered in the chimney for almost a month now, you have not yet got around to ringing Santa and asking him to leave a calling card and a promise of another visit on the 25th. Presents remain unwrapped and far to many are still living in the shops.
What a stark contrast this is to last year when your rein on all things festive was white knuckled and necessary! The difference then is faith that it will all come together. The belief that the world will not collapse if you have not wrapped and baked and jingled yourself silly. So you let Christmas happen regardless, because for sure as baubles are baubles, it will. You feel relaxed and accepting. Sad for a lunch cancelled by the necessity to be at home, but content to sit at the window and watch rusty leaves dance a hooley in the lane.
Now you are spritzing Christmas cards with a blend of vodka and cinnamon oil. Finding yourself mesmerized by Harry Styles and hoping your son will have the patience to teach you how to play chess – or will tolerate a quick game of draughts if you cannot tell your King from your Bishop.
The house is warm. There is chocolate bubbling on the stove ready for flour-free chocolate cakes and a pile of Carry On films waiting to be enjoyed with a long glass of cold milk.
All is calm. All is bright. Happy Thursday Darlings.x