This may sound bizarre, but I am pleased to announce that my little Finn has been diagnosed with Celiacs/Coeliacs disease, which means that he will have to follow a gluten free diet for the foreseeable future.
I am pleased because I was scared. More scared than I said I was. More scared than I wanted to admit to anybody, but I now feel that as his Mommy, Finley's health is in my hands, and I know I am more than capable of dealing with the challenges a gluten free diet will present.
Somewhere in Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach says that health problems focus us like a laser, that suddenly we have the clarity and strength to deal with all that life will lay at our door, in a way we do not have when our problems are financial. And for the first time in my life I have to disagree with Sarah. I have known huge, horrible money problems. Problems that seemed unsurmountable, but intellectually I always understood that money didn’t matter. What’s the worst that could happen? And if it did, what then? Nothing. Not in the whole scheme of things. Money doesn’t scare me. I can always work harder. Give up luxuries. Sell something or throw in the towel altogether.
But watching my precious little baby’s stomach grow bigger everyday, seeing him in pain, smiling when he was miserable and not knowing what to do about, made my head so fuzzy I could hardly think straight. I didn’t feel focused or strong. I felt weak and tired and helpless. Mostly because all rational thought went out the window. This wasn’t constipation or a food intolerance, this was (to me) something mean and horrible seeping the life out of my little boy, and while my every instinct told me that he was ok, the panicky mommy inside me was sure that each x-ray, blood test or consultant meeting would reveal something too horrible to contemplate.
But it didn’t. Of course it didn’t. And so I say again: I am pleased to announce that my little boy has been diagnosed with Celiacs Disease.
This we can deal with.