I am at the point of despair so please tell me your children make this kind of mess three or four times a day. I am starting to think Finley is suffering from some kind of chaos disorder…

Oh I know all about creative mess: I know it is fine to let them play in mess of their own making, just in case it is in fact an elaborate game of Bob The Builder Makes a GanGan Mess (Dad started building a conservatory on the back of their house last year, but so far hasn’t got further than laying the foundations, and Finn has christened it GanGans Mess.)… 

But the truth is I can’t stand it. The constant chaos is driving me around the twist. And trust me I do not live in an immaculate house, I just like a soupson of order, but explaining to Finley that I am The Vintage HouseKeeper and have a certain reputation to maintain is getting me nowhere…

Yesterday I caught him in the act. Just about to send Dear Old Dobbin flying across the room for goodness knows what reason. So I put on my stern Mummy voice, got down to his level, and told him, "That is very naughty Finley"

He smiled. So encouaraged by this show of enthusiasm, I went on "Mummy is very cross. Why did you do that?"

I wasn’t expecting an answer. I was expecting tear’s. Or a tantrum. But what I got  was the condescending logic of a child:

He cupped my face with his pudgy little hands, and said, "Cos Mummy, I is two."

And you can’t argue with that.