WorryWart

Worry. Work into the night trying to fix something that just won't be fixed. Worry about breaking a promise. Worry neighbour's think you are nutty because the noise you have reported as definitely "something electrical" is very definitely just the persistent, middle of the night  cry of a dirty stop out bird. Worry bottom is now the size of a small family car. Worry about the irony of writing about housework and letting the house go to rack and ruin while you do it. Worry about obsession with tangerines. Worry about not going shopping with Mum, worry about not being able to sleep and worry about allergic reaction causing eyes to sting after using an eyeliner that came free with a magazine.

Worry about the Molloscum on Finley's neck. Worry about rising cost of mortgage and car insurance. Worry about hole rapidly growing in armchair cushion. Worry Alice the kitten will only eat real chicken for the rest of her life and bankrupt you. Worry about missing your old cat so very, very much.

Drive to school. Worry you haven't got enough petrol. Worry there won't be any gluten-free cakes at school cake sale. Drive to supermarket and buy random jumper. Worry it will be too big/too small/look a fright. Buy it anyway. Worry Finley will know you bought shop bought cakes you take back to school. Worry when school secretary says there are lots of gluten-free cakes. Worry who made them. Worry about cross contamination. Worry son will be sick in school and die of shame.

Worry about two hundred unread emails. Worry about sisters engagement present and son's irrational hatred for a child he longer even sees. Worry playing wrestling game is making him aggressive in growly way. Worry about him being cast as Horrid Henry in school play in case role is reflection of his personality. Worry about swelling on the side of your face because it makes a crunchy, watery noise when you press it. Worry about turning into a hypochondriac.

Worry about what to cook for tea tonight. Worry about doing reading at Moby Dick On the Mersey on Monday. Worry no-one will be able to hear you or that you might cry in front of gathered crowd of whalers. Worry about Mum and Dad's fridge. Worry about trying to please everybody and somehow managing to please no-one at all.

Worry about wedding you couldn't attend yesterday. Worry new medication has murdered your appetite. Worry you will never find another polka-dotty saucer to complete your set. Worry about forgetting to buy wrapping paper. Worry about snapping at old man who swore a very bad swear word when you bumped into him. Worry about not being brave enough to swear back.

Go shopping. Worry about woman with rapidly balding head behind the counter at W. H.Smith. Meet mum's friend and worry with her about her tear-ducts. Worry about number of shops closing down. Worry about lack of iced mint white tea in Marks and Spencers. Worry that after twenty-two years of driving you still worry about reversing out of tight parking space. Worry about doing the wrong thing. Worry about how untidy your bag/car/life is.

Call at Kath's. Worry about her heating being broke and her freezing to death in big house. Eat Tunnocks Tea-Cake and worry about size of thighs. Worry about other friend with no social boundaries and small child with no friends. Worry Kath doesn't know how much you love her. Worry about not being back at you desk. Go home and go back to desk. Worry keyboard makes clanky noise when you type. Worry about imaginary blood clot in leg. Worry fridge doesn't seem cold enough. Worry internet is behaving strangely. Worry father of your child is behaving strangely.

Worry readers will consider you neurotic. Worry they won't understand that writing list of worries is cathartic. Worry about endless capacity to share woes with universe.

There. Feel better now.