The Potty Training Debacle.

Malmaisonrug


My new Laura Ashley rug + one potty training son

Finney_2

SPELLS DISASTER DOESN'T IT?

So here's the thing: nursery would like Finley to be out of nappies.  I would like Finley to be out  of nappies. But at two and four months, Finley isn't interested.

Up until now I've been a pretty confident Mother. Finley has followed my routines so successfully that (Watch out: Mummy boast coming up!)  we have never, ever had a sleepless night. Not since he was six weeks old.  I was a  Gina  Ford devotee and proud of it. Not for me the whole "feed on demand" thing, or the keeping baby up till they drop with exhaustion thing. Finley was fed every three hours on the dot. Then winded, wrapped tightly in a blanket and put down in his cot, wide awake, in the dark. He slept through the night because I woke him, at 11.00pm every night, to feed him, and thereafter, he slept through.  Yes readers, I was that Mommy you dread running into at Mums and Tots,  the one  silent while everybody else moaned, for fear of evangelising about  her success as a  Mommy. The one who wasn't dropping with exhaustion because life after 7.00pm  was pretty much as it had always been...

I was her. Feel free to spit at me in the street.

Until now.  Now free will has entered the arena, I am  falling apart. To my horror, Finley doesn't want to be a Big Boy. He isn't interested in Batman Big Boy Pants. Sitting on the toilet, or perching on the potty.  He is perfectly happy "to rain on his toes" as he likes to boast.

So I turned to Gina again. I bought "Potty Training In One Week". Took his nappies off. Resolved to stay in the house and lo and behold it was a pointless episode that resulted in nothing more than the gruesome site of something too ugly to talk about on Finley's bedroom wall.  In short we got nowhere and my lovely rug is worse for my efforts. So I have gritted my teeth, smiled a "aren't you a wonderful boy" smile and gone back to nappies.

Now to be fair, I am always one to stupidly go against medical advice. Don't try to potty train him until the Coeliacs/Celiacs has settled down they said. He may have unhappy associations he needs to forget (ie the stench from hell) they said. He may not be ready yet, they said. Yes he ticks all the boxes: can he follow simple instructions- well he can pick the Power Ranger with the white stripes out of a  whole box of the damned things. He regularly takes his pyjamas off in bed so I know he can do that. He know's the diffence between "raining" and a "bumbum" (his dreadful descriptions, not mine!!)...

But he may not be ready yet. I am not a failure- he may not be ready yet.

I know this. I know it. I've read the books. I know some kids aren't ready till they are three. I know the Coeliacs may have compromised his efforts. I know this.

So what is all this about?

Well  I will tell you. Vanity. He is my perfect little boy. He talks fluently. Better than all the kids his age and like the small genius that he is, he can do a 45 piece jigsaw all by himself. 45 pieces!! He is bright and there is a part of me that revels in that.  But I want  him to  do what I want him to do. I am a perfectionist and a  control freak. And until now I have never known what it is to be vain about another human being.

How truly terrible is that?

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