Modern Retro HouseWives.


In a parallel universe we are not Vintage HouseKeepers, we are "Modern Retro Housewives"...

In a fabulous article on "Port Halycon", Ami Thomas says;

"Her alarm clock chimes before the sun rises. She's not only up and at 'em, she's dressed to the nines in heels and a full face, wearing perfume. Her apron is starched and matches her outfit, and breakfast is on the table. Her husband and children come to the table dressed and pressed: they've been raised that way, and she's done the ironing.

The year is not 1944, or even's 2004, and the modern retro housewife is keeping house like Grandma did. She’s starting early and staying up late. Her day begins just after daybreak, when she gets up and gets dressed. No sweats or boxer shorts and t-shirts for her, she's wearing silk pajamas and pin curls. She bathes, dresses, combs out her hair and does her face. She's a modern-day Donna Reed, and she doesn't wear Donna Karan..."

And she goes on to describe a rather scrumptious (surely imaginary?) world of the woman I ache to be...

"She may be just an old-fashioned gal, or a semi-retired bombshell. She’s mastered the art of cleaning the cat box in a pencil skirt and stockings. She can sweep, mop and clean the toilet without chipping a nail or losing a bobby pin. These dames can keep house and keep the home fires burning. And really, what's sexier than a woman who can cook and doesn't mind cleaning up afterwards?"

Now I don't know about you, but I have yet to master the art of doing anything in a pencil skirt and stockings, but Ami strikes a chord with me, when she goes on to say:

"For the modern retro housewife, our lifestyle is a show of respect—respect for ourselves and others. Housewives dress each morning just as if they're going to an outside job because keeping house and caring for their families is a job. It's a serious job and we respect that work. We show that respect by not showing up for work wearing velour sweats and un-brushed hair. (And for the record, flip-flops are not shoes, just in case you're on the fence about that one.)"

..mostly because there are days when I have hardly got the energy to drag a brush through my hair, let alone put on my face and totter off to the village store in my high heels, but the thing is this: I know I should. I know how much better I feel when I approach my day looking and feeling a teeny bit glamorous. I suspect I get things done a little better, smile a lot more and generally feel like I'm not death warmed up to something resembling Finley's mad Mummy...   

So here it is: resolution number 776- As a thoroughly Modern Retro Housewife, I resolve to say hello to the bombshell I used to be at least once a week...

Are you with me?

** This Article First Appeared in My Vintage HouseKeepers Gazette**