Welcome back to the Get A Grip Program...
Life is a complicated business. All money troubles here and relationship angst there and let's face it, it can be utterly exhausting. And exhaustion my darlings is enemy number one in the battle to live a life less ordinary.
You see we cannot forge ahead with even the most carefully drawn of plans if we are physically or emotionally drained by problems that dog us every inch of the way.
But here's the thing: almost all problems are both surmountable and only very rarely, completely unmanageable. This I know for sure. And more than that? There is ALWAYS something you can do to improve your situation. Right now. Today. Always.
Not necessarily something that fixes it instantly, but usually something that will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Something that will move you bird by bird towards solving that which seems impossible. Something that helps you understand that you are in control. Not merely a puppet for the slings and arrows of misfortune.
For that's the thing with problems isn't it? Big, little or even utterly trivial, they all too often seem impossible to solve even when intellectually we understand that of course all things are possible within our domestic sphere. We may not be able to create world peace but we sure as hell have the power to enjoy better health, encourage better behavior in our children, fix the hopeless broadband connection, earn more money or get the dog to stop weeing on the doormat. All that? Totally in our power.
We can even survive the ugliest of problems. For when real trauma comes it might feel as though it is going to destroy you but this I know for absolute sure: this too will pass. A better day will come. You won't always feel like you do right now. Fear and sadness will loosen their grip on your heart and you will live to see another day. Probably with a smile stitched firmly back on your face. This too will pass.
[dtbaker_banner text="The Four Types of Problems" linkhref="" type="brush"]
For the purpose of the Get A Grip program we are going to imagine that each and every problem we are currently experiencing can be divided in to one of four categories and tackled accordingly.
Relationship and parenting problems. Grief. Spirituality and the issues it raises for you. Intimacy problems. Disenchantment. Anxiety. Depression. Fear of tomorrow. Self-worth issues. Addictions. Etc.
Housing issues. Ageing parents. Extended family problems. Car problems. Education related issues. Clutter and dis-organisation. Housework. Lack of routine. Domesticity issues. Share of labour. Etc.
Credit problems. Debt. Money mis-management. Over-spending. Failure to plan. Pension related future problems. Lack of savings. Bank issues. Household crisis's. Etc.
Ill health. Chronic illnesses. Dietary issues. Debilitating pain. Unfitness. Energy issues. Exhaustion. Etc.
Of course it is very true that having just one or two problems in even just one of the categories can set in motion a spiral of related problems, for isn't it a universal truth that when we lose a grip on one part of our life, everything else too often follows and all of a sudden we feel hopeless...
Ugh. Hopeless. That's a really horrible word isn't it?
But before we can really begin I want you to understand that unless death is imminent, there is no such thing as no hope.
There is always reason to get up and face the day. And each and every twenty-four hours offers you have refreshed opportunity to re-invent yourself and your circumstances. For YOU is not a static concept. You are constantly evolving and more than that you have the universe's permission to evolve.
But you have got to decide that enough is quite enough thank-you.
You have got to take a long hard look at all the problems fuzzing up your tired old brain and then after deciding which are real and which are imaginary (because trust me again: most problems are like the monsters that hide under your bed - half the size you imagine them to be and nowhere near as scary), you have got to prioritize them and then get on with facing them, warts and all.
It will be ugly. It will be frustrating. It will be boring. Tasteless. Frightening. Infuriating. Or just plain old dull. But looking at your problems, recognizing how you can deal with them, making a plan and then getting on with STICKING to that plan is the only way forward and while I might be Queen of all thing puttery and pretty, even I have no means of sugar-coating this for you. Because you KNOW what needs to be done and unless you work up the guts and the energy to actually DO IT, lo and behold it won't get done and life will stay the same.
And life, if it is not a fulfilling, joyful bundle of contentment MUSTN'T stay the same.
You owe it to yourself to do everything within your power to make it better for YOU. Not for your husband. Or your Mum. Or the cat next door. For you. For only when you are strong, can you then you be strong for everyone else in your world.
And oh Sweetheart, how very much I wish you strength!
Today then I want you to think about that list you made in your head last time and divide all your problems up accordingly in to the four categories above. Next week I will be helping you understand how to prioritize the issues in each category so you can finally start to get a grip on your life before it slips away from you altogether...
Very soon, you too, will rise...