And so the first anniversary of My Mum’s death came and went and it was nothing and everything all at once. Perhaps too raw to explain yet. I meant to carry on regardless, but it turned out to be harder than I anticipated and I retreated for a while: seven days of enduring something none of us here can yet tolerate.
Then yesterday I stood in my little house, cleaning it and wiping away the cobwebs, spiders taking advantage of our absence, have seen fit to form, when my friend Debbie came up the path and said hello. And we stood in the house that was once my home and she said well I think this feels right: It is time to close the door on all these memories and start your life again. And because she is the voice of my own conscience I nodded, and we talked about Spark Joy and how on earth I am going to find somewhere for the many books on my huge immovable bookcase when there isn’t a bookcase to be seen in the Bungalow and ne’er a wall to hold one if I could take it with me.
It is time to start my life again. Richard will be released soon and it frightens me. And so much of what was is gone. Even Finn’s famed long curls have been trimmed in to a more manageable short cut (something that felt like a little death all of its own). It is time to start my life again. So last week I signed up to the Elite Blog Academy so I could have someone teach me how to trim the behemoth that BrocanteHome has become. How to tidy it up and show it off to audiences I have never had the inclination to reach out to, but now need in a world where writing isn’t enough.
I need life to be leaner. For my world to be a lighter place in which to exist. I need my bottom to be half the size it is becoming. For BrocanteHome – like Finley’s hair – to be more manageable so I know whether I am coming or going, not flapping hither and thither like some sort of demented donkey carrying far too much on his sweltering back.
So yes. All this crazy imagery of hot donkeys is the long way around to saying that as I move through the very first blogging course I have ever taken, you may just notice some changes. This week all the categories that once existed on the blog have been deleted and just five new categories will take their place. Five categories that will represent the five aspects of my life as it is now. The guiding posts to a life less ordinary, and one that will in the very near future be the five pillars of living life the Brocante way.
You see life is never static. Change happens by necessity, because without it life spirals downwards and we have to keep daring to dream that it can be better. That we can update our websites without fear of heaven knows what. And more than that, update our own identities in this relentless search for comfort, authenticity and peace.
Is it time to start YOUR life again?