One does so hate to be the a kind of do as I say and not as I do kind of person and yet I so very often am. Yesterday I took it into my head to rectify this rather shameful state of affairs and squeeze in the little seasonal scrub I had to delay due to Finn being sick and all matter of other shenanigans that have had me rather distracted.
The sun was shining and as Spring is to housework as a good bottle of Rioja is to a lacklustre sex life, I threw myself out of bed with all kinds of mad ideas for re-arranging the furniture and evicting the dust bunnies lurking between the wide Victorian pine floorboards of this tiny little cottage of mine. I dug out my Seasonal Scrub lists and pulled on my tattiest combination of black garb and then I stood about surveying a land rather drowning in tchoickes and paper and books and batman figures and computer paraphanalia and plates that have no homes and it struck me that all these years I have been doing you, my darling readers. something of a dis-service by expecting you to launch into a scrub without tackling the chaos highly likely to have built up in-between-times.
And so I downed tools and lay down and had a good old-fashioned think and what I thunked was this: it is only possible to scrub if we start from a point where one will not lose days on end shifting nonsense around the house before we can really get the elbow grease going because despite all our best efforts and dedication to Housekeeping 365 and other similar routines, the amount of stuff we bring INTO the house usually outweighs all that we bother carrying out of it. A fact m’dears we only usually acknowledge when we cannot see the coffee table for all that we have been stacking upon it.
It struck me in fact, that before I insist we scrub, I should insist that we throw an extensive, intensive trashing session, in the same seasonal manner that we clean. That I should in fact have produced instructions for seasonal trashing long before I started throwing my weight around and insisting that you pull on your rubber gloves and clean the skirting boards.
And so me darlings, this is my mission this week: to get on with trashing before we start scrubbing and in the process to observe my patterns of trashing long enough to produce a new download for you, my dedicated Housekeeping Superstars, so you can both do as I say AND do as I do…
So watch this space: I am going to be away for a few days while I work myself into a tidy frenzy, but like Arnie, or Rambo, or some other muscly man once said, I will be back…
Happy housekeeping Honey Pies.x