As I keep informing my Mum, I may or may not be getting a cold. The diagnosis of my ailments is thus ambiguous because although I am ever so slightly sniffly and achey boned, I could simply be suffering through the now quite distinct joy of Mittelschmerz, still not reacting well to thyroid medication, or rather feeling the weighty effects of muddling through a life beset by the kind of ugly that has recently had me holding my child’s feet down while a doctor tried to poke a metal tube into his salivary glands until he was foaming at the mouth .
Whatever it is, I am constantly cold and simply cannot get warm. So I am costing myself a fortune in gas, wandering around in slipper socks that threaten to kill me and generally feeling dithery. Oh joy. Aren’t you glad you popped over today?
But I refuse to give in to malaise my Darlings. I simply refuse! Where once I would have turned down the heating and suffered the indignity of goose-pimples, I now realise that being warm contributes to our quality of life in a way that no amount of new shoes will ever do, and I would rather live on tinned beans for the duration of Winter than try to save a few pennies on the gas bill. So yes. The central heating is cranked up to the max while I try to stop shivering and as a result I am drying up like an old prune. My poor, long suffering skin is wrinkling up in alarm, and displaying in it’s fright the kind of gruesome little spots atop my arms I thought disappeared with my teenage yearning for the bloke with the beret out of
Brother Beyond Curiosity Killed the Cat.
So I am going to take drastic measures. This morning I will mix up some of the Central Heating Scrub that used to be a regular feature of my Winter bath times, and later tonight, climb into bed on a fragrant cloud of orange scented soft skin. While both creating and using this scrub can be a messy business, the bliss of getting into bed with the softest, sweetest smelling skin is more than worth it…
Won’t you do the same?
4 tbsps ground almonds
3 tbsps oatmeal
Glug of rosewater
6 tbsps almond oil
6 drops of lavender oil
3 drops of neroli oil
5 drops of sandalwood oil
1. Dry the peel of all of the oranges in a low oven for one hour.
2. Blitz in the blender until they are powdery.
3. Pour almonds, oatmeal and powdered orange rind into a bowl and stir well.
4. Slowly stir in the almond oil, stopping if the mixture goes beyond a crumbly paste.
5. Add the aromatherapy oils of your choice: any combination of flower and wood based oils will do as long as they delight your senses.
6. Decant into a wide-mouthed jar (so you can scoop it out with your hand) and store for up to three weeks.
Using this scrub is unlike using commercial products. Run yourself a hot bath and lie back and enjoy it, then get out and dry yourself thoroughly. Now for the weird part. Get back in the bath and scooping big handfuls of your scrub, rub it into your dry skin until it rolls away. Use a dry towel to dust off any remnants, then climb into your jim jams and congratulate yourself on smelling Wintery and feeling scrumptiously smooth…
Citrus Heaven methinks.