How completely wonderful it is to be home. You would think we’d been away for a month, not a week, yet even a day away leaves me pining for home.
After the austerity of the hospital ward, my little house seems frivolous and silly and wonderful and last night after spending a couple of hours snuggling each room back to life I climbed into our lovely, lovely bed and found myself smiling into the darkness, so grateful was I to be home,and yet strangely missing the reassuring hourly chats with nurses coming into to check on Finley as he slept. There is nowhere safer than a hospital ward. Nowhere more comforting than home.
Being under the watchful eye of medical staff can leave you doubting your abilities as a parent: all of a sudden, decisions about your child are out of your hands and you quickly come to depend on others for advice. Once home you can reclaim your baby, trust your instincts and provide comfort with the routines and rituals your child depends upon. While he was in hospital, Finley showed no outward signs of distress. He was as well behaved, cheerful and calm as always and yet day by day he ate less and less, grew listless and slept a lot more than usual. But the minute we got home it all changed. He has ate more in a day than he has in the previous week, giggled constantly and bestowed kisses on anyone sitting still. He is a different baby, and it breaks my heart that he must have been fretting for nine days and I didn’t realise.
Thank goodness we are home.
As you know I am going to be offline for the next week. On Thursday, Shine Productions are coming to film for the documentary I should have done last week (I can’t wait!!), and aside from visiting Helen for a day or so, and getting the house spick and span for the TV, I just intend to snuggle my baby back to full health, do the mountains of washing that have accumulated in the past week, and find an hour or seven to sit down with Mark and catch our breath after a hair-raising week…
Next week I’ll be back refreshed and full of scrumptious inspiration. It’s going to be lovely.