Diary of a Download
Heavens. Never was there so much of a kerfuffle as there has been creating Housekeeping 365. This is because I am hasty. That’s right, I am a hasty lady. I get an idea into my head and I run with it without considering any of the fiddly little implications and thus, in my haste to be hasty I get in a muddle and cause all concerned no end of problems.
So over the past year I have been noting down the teeny tasks I routinely undertake to keep this house in order. Then when I realised I had a whole years worth I got it into my head that my own housekeeping system could be ever so useful for ladies in muddles of their own, and thus Housekeeping 365 was born: a simple download, with tickable boxes next to nine daily tasks, a short list of routine, everyday tasks and one scrumptious puttery treat per day.
All was well. I consulted with my web designer man (Richard) to check whether this was possible and he assured me that it was and told me to WAIT and went off to be terribly busy running his own business, and when he came back, impatience (and a deadline) had got the better of me and I had whipped up Housekeeping 365 in trusty old Publisher and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, because not knowing the first thing about almost anything I was pretty sure that making my PDF editable for all those darling Housekeepers who had ordered it, would surely just be a matter of pressing a few button and shouting “Abracadabra!”
Ahem. It is not. For the past five days Richard has worn an expression I can only describe as aghast at my foolishness. The deadline for delivering Housekeeping 365 came and went with a hastily sent apology and plea for patience and I wandered around looking worried while poor Richard glued himself to my desk chair and re-wrote and re-formatted absolutely everything I had done, list by list and painful frame by frame.
Who knew that behind every successful woman is a tall man shaking his head in disappointment?
In the meantime the house stood gathering dust like a testimony to the kind of Miss Haversham who had had her life destroyed by Microsoft Publisher and the mystery that is Quark Express, while I was forced to abandon ship to go read Chapter 109 of Moby Dick out loud to a group of Moby lovers at the Liverpool Maritime Museum, high on a box of Kalms and rather bewildered by what my life has become.
Then after a whizz around the Liverpool eye and a meal at Jamie Olivers it was home again to stare at an ash faced man having trouble getting 5110 (!) editable boxes to behave themselves and rather fed up with the whole matter when a little less haste would have saved him losing an entire weekend and you my Darlings from rather losing patience.
All this to tell you that after a morning proof-reading all over again and despairing of my penchant for ellipses at the end of every sentence, Richard is STILL trying to get my download to do what it was supposed to do. So rather than keep you waiting forever and another day I plan to send you the printable version of Housekeeping 365 tonight and Rich will continue to try to get the editable version to play ball with the software most people have installed on their systems, when he finally gets home.
I do hope that’s alright?